


I usually don't fall when I try to stand

by liquidnitrogen



Category: Community (TV)
Genre: Drug Use, Fluff, Humor, M/M, and they're such dumbasses god bless, hijinks more like HIGHjinks, i'm sorry enjoy, idk whether to tag jeff in this because he has like one line lol, the boys are in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:48:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25464979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liquidnitrogen/pseuds/liquidnitrogen
Summary: Troy and Abed accidentally get high. That's it that's the fanfic.
Relationships: Troy Barnes & Abed Nadir, Troy Barnes/Abed Nadir
Comments: 8
Kudos: 100





	I usually don't fall when I try to stand

**Author's Note:**

> idk what to say about this tbh i just kinda had the idea and though "oh that would be pretty funny" and now here we are 2615 words later lmao. i'm not that used to writing this type of dialogue heavy fanfiction so i hope it isn't a total disaster ok enjoy!
> 
> (title from "Don't Threaten Me with a Good Time by Panic! At The Disco)

The watch on Abed’s wrist gave off a much anticipated beep as the clock finally hit 4 pm. It was time to stop studying, time to go home. 

“Alright guys, books closed,” Jeff announced to the group as if he was their teacher and everyone obliged dutifully, book covers turning over and shutting in a less than synchronized sequence. 

The friends began saying their goodbyes to each other as they all left for the day, some alone and some in pairs. Eventually the only ones left were Troy and Abed, who were trying to decide on what to watch tonight, and Britta who seemed to be searching almost frantically for something around her area at the table. 

Troy and Abed shot a look in her direction following some mostly incoherent mumbling coming from under her chair and turned their eyes back to one another. 

“You looking for something Britta? Couldn’t be your dignity because I see you have that,” Troy quipped and smirked at her. 

“My diggin— digital— my dignitary is doing just fine, thank you,” she muttered, going to stand up and banging her head on the table in the process. “Ow! Son of a bitch!” Troy and Abed once again looked at each other, not quite knowing whether or not they should help.

She fell back into a seated position on the floor whilst rubbing her head where the bump would soon start to form. “I’m looking for my keys,” she said, leading Abed’s gaze to where her keys were very clearly sticking out halfway from her pocket. 

“You mean the ones in your pocket?” He offered blankly, causing Troy to stifle a giggle next to him. 

Britta looked down at her jeans and frowned. She could have sworn they weren’t there before. Stupid Troy and Abed with their magic powers. 

“Right… Duh-doy,” she mumbled as she attempted to crawl out somewhat swiftly from underneath the study room table. It didn’t go very well however, instead looking more like a newborn animal taking its first wobbly steps. Eventually she found her way out, grabbed her purse and left without a response to Troy and Abed’s joint "bye!”

Once she was out earshot, Troy turned to Abed, confusion written all over his face. “What was up with her?” He asked, not really expecting to get an actual answer. 

“I don't know,” said Abed, “I noticed she was acting strange and distant and I tried to figure out what was wrong in my head but…” He paused, “it was perplexing me even more so I kinda gave up after a while.”

“Yeah,” Troy nodded wisely, “very perplexing.”

They sat in silence for a few seconds before Troy’s face sparked with realization. “Movie!” He spoke excitedly, “we were gonna decide a movie!” Abed pointed his finger at him as if to say “you’re right, my friend.”

“ _Kickpuncher_? It’s been a while. We could re-enact it again.” He offered and Troy’s lips curled into a big grin, reaching over to do their handshake when he stopped dead in his tracks. Abed caught on and followed Troy’s eyes over to where they were resting on a brownie, simply just sitting there on the table.

“Do you see what I’m seeing?” Troy asked in shock, almost breathlessly. They turned to each other at the same time, whispering “brownie…” 

“Has it been here the whole time? What if it just magically appeared?” Troy looked at his boyfriend with wide eyes. “I don’t know… We would have noticed,” Abed pondered. “I think I remember Britta eating some earlier. It makes sense that she might have left some behind, especially given how weird she was acting.” Troy thought about it for about a second and concluded that, yeah, it did make sense.

“So… We’re eating it right?” He quirked an eyebrow up at Abed, whose mouth immediately grew into a grin as he stretched himself over into Britta’s usual space and grabbed the brownie.

After splitting it as delicately and fairly as he could, Abed handed his boyfriend the other piece of the brownie and they dug in right away. “Man, this is good!” Troy said in between chews, clearly surprised, “are we sure Britta made this?” 

“Could have been Shirley. She loves brownies.” Abed pointed out accompanied by a literal point of his finger like he usually did while speaking, which Troy had always found pretty adorable. He hummed in agreement and they sat there for a moment in pure dessert bliss before deciding it was time to head home.

–

It took around 15 minutes of getting back to their apartment, 20 minutes of dinner preparation and 35 minutes of movie watching until Troy started feeling _extremely_ loopy. It hit him out of nowhere like a damn bus and suddenly he was very aware of the fact that he needed to make it to the bathroom right at that second. 

“I gotta— stop the movie— I need to go to the bathroom right now,” he managed and nearly tripped over himself running to said room, leaving one very confused Abed behind him. He’d barely been able to register what Troy had said before he heard the lock click and went to press the pause button. 

“Troy?” Abed called with an unusual tinge of worry in his voice, “Troy, are you okay?” No response. He started knocking. “Troy?” Still no response but to his surprise, giggles were heard on the other side of the door and the lock clicked once more. “I’m coming in,” Abed warned and stepped inside.

“Hey! You got the door open!” Troy exclaimed and opened his arms, sort of like a _ta-da!_ motion. 

Abed raised an inquisitive eyebrow at the other man. “What’s going on? Why are you on the floor?” 

Troy giggled. “Well, it’s funny… I don’t remember.” 

“What happened? Are you feeling better?” Abed moved to sit down across from his boyfriend who, by the way, was sending him all kinds of mixed signals. “I’m fine!” Troy replied merrily. “I thought I was gonna be, like, really sick! And everything looked kinda blurry when I ran over here. But I’m _fine_!”

The two just sort of stared at one another for a few seconds, not really knowing what to say until Abed burst into a full on fit of giggles himself. It didn’t take long until Troy was swept by the wave of laughter as well, both clambering onto each other as they wheezed out incoherent, half-formed cries of help. 

“Abed— Abed, listen” Troy panted, wiping the tears from his eyes. Abed gave him his most focused look. “I love you, you sexy bitch.” Abed smirked and pretended to flip his hair like a model would, “I’m sexy. I love you too.” Troy let out a small laugh and disentangled himself from his boyfriend to press a kiss to his lips. Abed instinctively wrapped his arms around Troy’s torso, reveling in the way the kiss somehow felt even more magical than usual.

“Mm—” Troy hummed, breaking the kiss, “Abed. I’m starving.” The other man looked at him with dark eyes. “Me too,” he said diving back in for another kiss. Troy, however, backed up, leaving Abed a little confused and pouty. 

“No, I mean I’m _Starving_ ,” he said and after a moment Abed gave him an understanding nod. “We should order pizza— oh! Fries! Do we have chocolate?” Troy rambled on and, honestly, you could see the desire on his face. For food. The desire for food.

“That sounds awesome, let’s get it all!” Abed said, voice infused with more excitement than most people would ever hear and Troy, already one step ahead, pulled out his phone to order all their food cravings. 

“No!” Abed nearly smacked the phone out of his boyfriend’s hands. Troy looked at him with wide eyes. “The FBI can see us I think… We can’t use the phone,” he explained. 

“You’re right… They’re probably onto us,” Troy said wisely. “There’s a pizza place like 5 minutes from here, let’s go!” He grabbed Abed’s hand and pulled him up with him before clumsily running out of the bathroom.

It was honestly a miracle that the two managed go into the hall, put their shoes on and lock the door without incident, though there was a close call when Abed almost knocked over a lamp.

–

It was dark outside by the time they made out of the apartment building. Thank god there were street lights though, without them that would just be a disaster waiting to happen. Two boys unknowingly stoned walking around in the dark? Not good. Thankfully though, they were alright, and they made it to the pizza place as steadily as they could. 

Surprisingly there weren’t a lot of customers inside, despite it only being slightly after dinner time. Nevertheless Troy and Abed only had to wait for two people to finish up their orders until it was their turn. 

“Hello, how can I take your order?” The woman at the register greeted them warmly as they looked between themselves. “One pizza please!” Troy said confidently, looking at Abed who gave him a thumbs up. “Okay… Could you please be a bit more specific, sir?” She asked and Troy pondered for a second. “A big one!” The woman looked unsure of herself as she laughed nervously, turning to Abed for a hopefully more clear request. “Pepperoni will be fine, thank you,” he added. The woman nodded and replied with a smile, “We’ll have it done as soon as we can.”

“Okay!” Troy said happily before they found a table to sit down at as they awaited their pizza. “That girl was totally flirting with you,” he said after a bit. “What?” Abed looked at him, confused. “She totally was! Next time I catch her I’m gonna give her one of these!” Troy muttered as he gestured with his middle and index finger in a v-shape, pointing it at his own eyes as well as in the direction of the woman, signaling that he’d be watching her. “Sure,” Abed chuckled. 

–

Once they had received their food and were out of the door they spotted the little supermarket they would usually go to buy their groceries. “Abed,” Troy gasped, “we need to go in. I’m so horny.” Abed simply stared at him, silently waiting for him to explain why they should go _there_ for something like _that_. He may have been high as a kite but he had at least some remaining sense in him.

“For, like, chocolate and stuff. That’s an expression I think.” Troy explained. 

“I don’t think so,” Abed dead-panned, but took his hand and lead him into the shop. The mission was mostly successful, if you don't count Troy almost getting into a fight with a cardboard cutout. He had claimed it was insulting him and Abed had just patted his shoulder, telling him it wasn’t worth it. 

They left with two bags full of snacks as well as some butterfly hair clips that Troy had begged Abed to buy. “They would look so cute on you!” He had said and Abed couldn’t say no when given those adorable puppy eyes. 

–

“Aw, man!” Troy practically squealed as they entered their apartment and unloaded the food, “This is gonna be _amazing_!” Troy was right. It was amazing. Probably the best pizza they’d ever had.

“I wanna marry this pizza,” Abed stated, though it was closer to a moan. “You know,” Troy said, mouth full, “I would be offended. But this pizza is so fucking good. I think we need to discuss the possibility of origami— wait— polygraph.” 

“Polygamy,” Abed corrected, making Troy snort. “Yeah, that’s what I said, dummy.” 

As he ate, Abed’s eyes shot up in realization. This may have been his best idea yet. He rushed over to the kitchen counter and grabbed the chocolate syrup from the bag. Troy observed his boyfriend in shock, waiting for him to do the unthinkable. Something so risky yet so potentially awesome. Abed opened the cap, pouring a generous amount of chocolate onto his pizza. Putting down the bottle, he took a bite and Troy watched as his eyes somehow got even wider.

“Oh my god, Troy,” he said, handing the bottle over to him and really he didn’t need to say much else. Troy trusted him of course, so he followed Abed’s lead and poured some on his own slice. He brought it to his mouth and _oh my god_ indeed. He felt like that rat from _Ratatouille,_ flavors exploding all over the place. He couldn’t believe Abed was such a genius. He needed to let him know. “Abed, you’re a genius,” he said matter of factly. “Thanks, Troy. I know.”

The rest of the evening went by pretty much the same. Trying endless food combinations and doing each other's makeup with the condiments they could find in the fridge since they didn’t have any actual products on hand. Abed had noted that Troy’s ketchup lipstick looked pretty convincing, however he had not enjoyed it as much when he’d tried to kiss him. It tasted way too ketchupy, he thought. 

Soon enough, after about the 10th somewhat sloppy movie re-enactment, they’d both began feeling pretty sleepy and they ended up drifting off on the floor in front of the tv, more or less lying on top of each other. Despite it having felt like a whole day had passed since they first entered their apartment, it had only been closer to 3 hours.

They woke up the next morning in a pile of discarded food remains and packaging, Abed for some reason wearing an old cheerleader outfit and Troy draped across his chest, using his letterman jacket as a blanket. 

“Woah… What are we doing on the floor?” Abed spoke in a deep voice, presumably doing his best Jeff impression, “Were we… Doing it?” Troy chuckled and playfully slapped his shoulder. He managed to open his eyes, feeling quite groggy, and examined the area around them. 

“What the… What the hell were we up to last night, Abed? Were we drunk?” Troy rubbed his temple, though he didn’t feel particularly hungover. “I don’t know,” he replied honestly, “I don’t remember drinking.”

Abed picked up his phone and pulled up the study group’s chat, hoping maybe there would be some clues there. He was right. He looked at the screen with a look of horror as he scrolled through all the photos and videos they’d sent. One video of Troy dancing to ABBA, a couple selfies of them with ketchup on their faces and one last set of photos where Abed was wearing some butterfly clips in his hair. Come to think of it, that might be why his hair was feeling tighter. He reached his hand up to his head and sure enough, he felt the plastic material. 

He scrolled down a little and saw Britta’s reply, reading: _oh mt god u dorks are u high?? did i give u some of my brownies?? lmaooo_

Yeah. It made sense. They’d been drugged by Britta’s weed brownies. That was a first, he noted. He looked over at Troy, who seemed to have fallen asleep again. Abed put his phone on the floor and went to settle down next to his boyfriend again with a soft smile, vowing to show him all the embarrassing footage once they woke up again, as well as trying not to think of what their friends would say at their next study meeting. For now though, he just sighed contently as he cuddled up to Troy, who must have woken up slightly, as he snaked his arm around Abed’s waist. This was fine. They’d be fine. 


End file.
